Expert explainer: Science-backed ways fathers build strong bonds with children

“With multiple screens in the home and an always-on work culture, connecting and staying present with children can be a mounting struggle for parents. But Western professor David Green, an expert in fathering, parenting and relationships, shows us there are simple ways to stay close beyond the Father’s Day get-together. Green, professor of family studies and human development in the Faculty of Health Sciences, breaks down how fathers can build strong relationships with their children – and the science behind those bonds. Western News: How is a child’s early development influenced by their caregivers? David Green (DG) : Caregiver interactions shape the child’s brain. The parents’ behaviour is associated with how neural networks, the different pathways in the brain, are organized as the child grows. They shape how a child will respond to threat, rewards, emotions and social cues. How might parents unknowingly be impacting their child? DG: Children mimic what they see. They copy how parents handle emotions, conflicts, stress and approach daily habits. Children will adopt the same behaviours you’re showing, with the mindset of ‘I’m handling it the same way you handle it’. They’re learning to regulate the same way, so you need to be thoughtful about the behaviours you’re modelling. “Children also remember labels, whether through praise, criticism or comparisons. These things stick with them for a long time, because they hold onto the image of themselves that’s reinforced. For example, telling a child ‘you’re shy’ or calling them ‘the smart one’ can shape their identity and what they believe is possible for them.” – David Green, family studies and human development professor in Western’s Brescia School of Food and Nutritional Sciences It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, so be intentional about what you want your child to remember. Engaging in more positive reinforcement, like saying ‘you are capable’ instead, can make a big difference. What are the most persistent myths about fathers? DG: There are so many myths we still see today, including this concept that fathers are not natural caregivers, that they’re not born for it – which is false. Fathers will actually undergo a biological change to prepare for parenting during the mother’s pregnancy – based on their relationship with the mother – which creates changes in testosterone levels. Another myth I hear is that caregiving is optional for fathers, and they are merely providers. But they want to be caregivers. Fathering is beyond provision; there are meaningful ways that fathers can engage in their children’s lives, even if they are not providing financially. Another harmful misconception is that fathers in marginalized communities are typically uninvolved or absent. I discovered in my own study that this has been a vast overstatement. While there may be non-residential fathering happening, where the biological father is unable to live with the child, it doesn’t mean the child is fatherless. In fact, many of these children receive such strong fathering from figures in their community, they stated they didn’t feel they were lacking a parent. We need to be careful we’re not imposing strict ideas of family structure in perpetuating these myths. In some cases, children may be experiencing inadequate fathering, rather than fatherlessness. How does the father uniquely contribute to a child’s development? DG : Father and mothers are complementary, each supporting the child’s development in ways that play to their strengths. For example, children are likely to turn to mothers for comfort, but more likely to turn to fathers when they need protection. In this sense, fathers provide much of the emotional security and reliable support that help children manage stress and feel safe. Fathers also tend to facilitate exploration and learning; actively engaging their kids in play and problem-solving situations, which builds their confidence over time. Through my own study , I found that fathering, but not mothering, is directly linked to emerging adults’ reports of life satisfaction. This suggests fathers should remain emotionally available and show consistent interest and support as their children navigate major transitions. Life satisfaction underpins a sense of meaning and hope for the future, which is especially important amid rising living costs and growing uncertainty in the world. Fathers being there makes a big difference. How do you recommend fathers build stronger bonds with their children? DG: By being present early. This can start as early as attending maternity checkups and being there for delivery. Speaking to the child in the womb, and then when they’re born, using kangaroo care – skin-to-skin contact – will help develop a strong bond from the very beginning. Being predictable and reliable for young children also builds strong bonds. By putting your kids to bed every night, your kids will trust that you’re going to be there for them. It’s also important to deal with stress in a healthy way. It matters how you are modelling resilience. How do you deal with setbacks and talk about them? It’s important to set up safeguards so you’re not creating a negative environment at home. Scheduling a time to worry is a mindfulness strategy you can use to prevent this, so that you’re truly present with your kids. What small, evidence-based habits have an outsized impact? DG: Protecting a daily connection ritual, for example a device-free dinner conversation, is an easy way to keep a close relationship. Simply asking about the highlight of their day or week gives space to open up about their positive experiences. Active play is also important, which you can do by setting aside 10 to 15 minutes a day to ask your child, what do you want to do together? It gives them repeated practice in managing arousal, negotiating boundaries and calibrating risk – while still feeling protected. “Ending the day with a shared reading or storytelling has a huge impact, too. You’re opening their imagination, facilitating language development, reasoning, problem-solving and contributing to their emotional regulation, all through this one ritual.” – David Green, family studies and human development professor What mistakes do you see in today’s parenting practices? DG: I see parents avoiding limit-setting, because they confuse it with punishment. But discipline is different from punishment. Discipline is about training, not harshness. It’s about teaching, coaching and consistently reinforcing the values and expectations you want your children to internalize. Fathers may also overcorrect by trying to give their children everything they themselves lacked. But stepping in too quickly and removing all frustrations can unintentionally limit opportunities for your child to develop autonomy and practical life skills. Instead, do things together. Ask them to help you change the tire. Go with them to get their health card renewed. You want to help them grow. How do work culture and economic pressures shape fathering? DG: Work culture today often prioritizes commitment to work over family. Advancement is tied to longer hours and constant availability, which might mean you’re less present at home. Constantly being connected to work, even through the phone, can reduce fathers’ time and bandwidth for hands-on caregiving. We still have a lot of work to do in normalizing the nurturing role fathers can play in their children’s lives – beyond economic provision. It’s more than being a great worker, it’s also about being a great parent, because we’re quite literally shaping the next generation. Learn more about how Western is optimizing health for all. The post Expert explainer: Science-backed ways fathers build strong bonds with children appeared first on Western News .

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